Watching Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone.

"Mom, Hagrid looks like your dad."

Yes. Yes he does.

"Please tell me I don't have to eat oakmeal for breakfast in the morning. I hate oakmeal."

Attack of the killer tomato.

"Mom, we need to go in the basement right now! I just watched the news and there's a giant tomato coming!"

Giant... tomato?

You know, like on Wizard of Oz? Hurry! It's the tomato, it's picking up the whole house!! Aaaaah!!!" [runs amok]

I love Friday nights.

Speaking about one of the boys in her class:

"Mom, ____'s bagina is called a weiner."

Names are blocked to protect the innocent as I sure this would be a story to scar this boy's adolescence and possible adult manhood.

On nutrition...

Fin: I don't like spinach.
Me: How do you know?
F: Because I've never tried it!

[She totally has; she just doesn't realize it.]

M: Well then how do you know it doesn't taste amazing? Like... rainbows?

F: *shoots withering look my way*

F: Spinach doesn't taste like rainbows.
M: How do you know??
F: Because it's nature! Do you want to eat a stick? Or a leaf? Or a bug? Huh?! How bout I make you eat a spider; would that taste like rainbows to you?!

Just got up out of bed to peek outside at the falling snow one last time. My occasional sleep-talking child suddenly hollered, "Come back to bed, coconut!" What?!

Bedtime Snuggles

"Momma, I don't ever want to be apart from you. You are all my love in my heart."

And people wonder why I'm perfectly content to stay home all the time?