I'm running a bit of a fever and Fin is playing nurse, feeling my forehead, etc.

"Mom, all you need to do to cool down is take that shirt off for awhile. Take it off, please."

"Honey, I'm not going to take my shirt off while I'm laying on the couch in the living room. Thank you, though."

"It's because you have boobs, isn't it."

"Yes, dear. It is because I have boobs."

After walking into the bathroom as I was not so delicately using the facility:

"WSHEW! That's one secret weapon I don't ever want to smell again!"

Watching Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone.

"Mom, Hagrid looks like your dad."

Yes. Yes he does.

"Please tell me I don't have to eat oakmeal for breakfast in the morning. I hate oakmeal."

Attack of the killer tomato.

"Mom, we need to go in the basement right now! I just watched the news and there's a giant tomato coming!"

Giant... tomato?

You know, like on Wizard of Oz? Hurry! It's the tomato, it's picking up the whole house!! Aaaaah!!!" [runs amok]

I love Friday nights.

Speaking about one of the boys in her class:

"Mom, ____'s bagina is called a weiner."

Names are blocked to protect the innocent as I sure this would be a story to scar this boy's adolescence and possible adult manhood.

On nutrition...

Fin: I don't like spinach.
Me: How do you know?
F: Because I've never tried it!

[She totally has; she just doesn't realize it.]

M: Well then how do you know it doesn't taste amazing? Like... rainbows?

F: *shoots withering look my way*

F: Spinach doesn't taste like rainbows.
M: How do you know??
F: Because it's nature! Do you want to eat a stick? Or a leaf? Or a bug? Huh?! How bout I make you eat a spider; would that taste like rainbows to you?!