Fin's Invisible Fox friend has a visible (stuffed) fox baby. I have been assigned babysitting duties while Fin, Invisible Fox and all of his - yes, his - friends build a playhouse.

"Take good care of the baby, Mom. His name is Filo. Let him drink milk from your boobs. He likes that."

Our Howard is a black Chihuahua who happens to be very long (way longer than breed standard) in the body.

This morning Fin observed, "How, you look like a hot dog. A little burned up hot dog."

My kid just came hobbling into the kitchen, hunched over using a colored pencil as a makeshift cane.

"Excuse me, ma'am? Do you perhaps have some food for this starving little old lady?"

Oh jeez.

After randomly reaching over and jiggling my boob, Foo made the following observation:

"Mom, it doesn't feel like you have any bones in there."

"No, there are no bones in my boob."

"So, it's just like an earlobe then."

"..."

Fin's parting words to my dad before he left for his business trip overseas: "I love you! Don't fall off the plane!" Sage advice, no?

Overheard, Fin to Howard [our dog]: "Fanks for stepping on my eyeball, How. You could've killed me."

"Mom, when I grow up I will still love you with my whole heart. Even if I move far away to Marion and you still live in West Frankfort [15 minutes apart], I will still love you."

Was just explaining to Fin that her Pa (my dad) is flying across the ocean to England this weekend. Something possessed me to end the talk with a chorus of "I see London, I see France... I see Finley's underpants!" Having never heard it before, she proceeded to laugh so hard she then peed in hers a little. Gotta love five year old humor.

Hurrying Fin up the stairs tonight for bedtime I was making *gitcha gitcha* noises as I followed behind.

She shrieked, "Mom!! Don't gootch me!"