Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Last Night...

I snuck down the hallway to check on Fin one last time before turning in myself.

I found her sleeping soundly in the soft glow of her Twilight Turtle stars. The only sound was her quiet, even breathing and the low hum of the fan in her room.

I smoothed her hair back off of her sweet face, straightened her covers, whispered "I love you" and started to tiptoe out of her room.

That's when she hollered, "I LOVE YOU, TOO!" in a booming voice and I almost peed my pants.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

"You shouldn't wrestle with your poop. You hafta just... reeeelaaaax ...and let it go."

Wise beyond her years.

Friday, January 27, 2012

"Hey, Mom! Wouldn't it be fabulous to see a real live unicorn jumping over a rainbow the same way a real live cow jumps over the moon?"

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Fin was watching me open a new box of OTC sinus medication.  I popped the two giant gel-caps out of the blister-pack into my palm and her eyes grew big as plates.

"Mom!  Do you hafta stick those up your bum?!"

Guess whose kid was recently traumatized by her first anti-nausea suppository experience?

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

"Mom, you make me happy all the time. And your tattoos? Are wonderful."

Friday, January 20, 2012

"Mom, is the craziness over yet?"

I certainly hope so, my sweet girl.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

I am taking an important phone call when I have to ask Fin to "please stop bouncing those balls" (our house is very echoey and sound resonates loudly on these old wood floors).

"FINE. Then we'll just go in the other room! C'mon, Twoballs!"

A sign that life does, indeed, go on? Having to stifle laughter at your child while you're on the phone with the funeral home.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Tonight Fin fell asleep listening to Regina Spektor, Us.

January 12, 2012

"Daddy, are you being pissy?"

*Daddy gave Momma the stink eye for this one.  Oops.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

"Mom, when girls say something nice to boys, boys say 'Aw, shucks.'"
"Excuse me, please. I have a date with a monkey."

Friday, January 13, 2012

"Mom, I want to be 10:30."

"Well, if it was 10:30 you would be in bed asleep."

"NO, MOM.  I want to be 10:30!"

 "... years old?"

"Yes.  *sigh*"

"Honey, 10:30 is a time, not an age.  It can be 10:30 at night or 10:30 in the morning.  You can be 10 years old.  But you can't be 10:30 years old."

"YES, I CAN!  I can so be 10:30 years old, Mom.  And I want to be 10:30 years old right now!"

"Okay, I give up.  *POOF*  You're 10:30."

"YESSSSSS!  I've always wanted to be 10:30!"

Thursday, January 12, 2012

At the grocery store and Fin has talked me into buying her a small bottle of chocolate milk.

"Mom, there's a moose on this bottle! A chocolate moose!"

"Um... Are you sure that's not a picture of... oh, I don't know... a cow, perhaps?"

"No, Mom. *sigh* I'm sure it's a moose. A milk moose. A chocolate milk moose."


Monday, January 2, 2012

Coming downstairs this morning Fin pauses on the stairs and looks down over the living room.

"Huh.  Christmas tree's still gone."
Astute, she is.

January 1, 2012

"Mom, scrumptious means yummy. That's how they say it in Spanish."

January 29, 2011

Child tromping all over me in the bed. 
Honey, please be gentle! Momma's sick. 
Fin, stroking my cheek, "Okay, my poor Momma. I'll just pet you... like a dog."

February 3, 2011

Child has been in bed since 7:30; I naively assumed she was asleep. Then I hear a strange sound coming from her room... 
Um, did you just WHISTLE at me?? 
"Well, yeah. My stars [Twilight Turtle on a timer] went out and I whistled so you could come turn them back on for me." 
And that's when I stepped out into the hallway to bang my head against the wall.

February 8, 2011

Woke at 1:30am to hear Fin coughing down the hall in her bed. Took the large cup of ice water I keep on my nightstand to give her a drink and promptly spilled it all over her bed. 
Ice, in her bed. Ice water soaking the back of her pajamas, sheets & mattress. Shocked child. Shocked & hysterically laughing and apologetic momma. 
Who throws ice water on their 3 year old in the middle of the night?? 
MOTY 2011

February 9, 2011

Peace, Home Skillet.

Sweet Child O Mine

February 14, 2011

Having a discussion about being each others' Valentine, I said to Fin, "My heart is full of love for you." 
She very sweetly replied, "My heart is full of chocolate for you!"

February 17, 2011

Driving home we were stopped behind traffic on Main Street.  Fin hollered, 
"Uuugh! Come ON, cars! We gotta be somewhere!" 
(No clue where she gets this.) 
As the traffic pulled away Fin yelled, 
"Mom! IT WORKED! It really, really worked!" 
I see much toddler road rage in our future.

February 24, 2011

Finley finally finished her bedtime prayers, in which she asked God to bless everyone she's ever met - each one by name. 
Thought she was finally asleep till she suddenly rolled back over, put her palms together and added, 
"And please let Mommy take me someplace good and exciting very soon. Amen!" 
Kid doesn't get out much, apparently.

March 1, 2011

Cannot for the life of me find a way to make Fin understand that running errands does not mean we're going to visit Aaron.

March 5, 2011

We were riding in the car and I said to Fin, "Wow, you're having a pretty fun day! Got to watch movies at home this morning, Dr. Seuss crafts at art class this afternoon and now on your way to your grandparent's to play." 
She threw both arms in the air and yelled, "It's Finley Kate Willmore Day!"

March 5, 2011

Fin just got out of bed to pee only to sit there forever without going. 
"I'm a robot. Robots don't pee." 
Complete with robot hand motions.

March 21, 2011

Laying in Foo's bed, pressing a cool washcloth to her hot little face, neck and back. 
Temp up to 103.8 tonight. 
C'mon, Children's Advil. Do your job.

March 25, 2011

Our girl was diagnosed with mild pneumonia in her left lung.

Fever, fever, go away.

March 27, 2011

I'm officially declaring this weekend a bust. Fin is feeling better, but it is taking her awhile to get over this pneumonia. She is still coughing and sicker than I'd like after 4 days of antibiotics. She is off her normal sleep schedule like whoa, and we are both stir-crazy to the extreme. 
And my child, who insists she is a puppy today, just drank out of the dog's bowl. 

April 5, 2011

Fin to her dad, looking at his recently shaved head: 
"Daddy, where did all your little hairs go?"

April 11, 2011

Pitiful girl on a rainy day.


April 19, 2011

Wailing, indignant, 

"But I'm too busy to take a nap!"

Sunday, January 1, 2012

April 23, 2011

Fin to me, playing doctor: 
"Oh dear, Patient! Your temperature is 4-6-2-7. You're going to have to stay in bed for a few years. Oh, and I need all your blood, please."

April 23, 2011

Just when I'm wondering where I put the duct tape she curls her small self into my side, nestles her sweet head into my shoulder, puts her little hand on my cheek and closes her eyes. 
And for a moment all is blissful and serene and quiet... 
...and then she toots. 
Gotta love family nap time.

April 25, 2011

Cuddling Foo to sleep since she's a little scared of the thunder. 
Just when I think she's finally drifted off... *PLINK!* she plucks a single hair from my arm. 
This now ends the tender mommy portion of the evening.

April 28, 2011

"Daddy, if I fall off the couch, you catch me. If I fall off a pony, you catch me. If I fall of a cliff, you catch me, okay?"

May 1, 2011

My new favorite pastime: 
Finding ways to make Fin wrinkle up her nose and say, 
"Eew, Mom! That's dee-cuss-ting!"

May 5, 2011

"Mom, someday will you take me bowling at the Bowling Wowie?"

May 8, 2011

I was eating a dill pickle, which Fin loathes. 
"EEEWWW, Mommy! Happy Pickle's Day, yuck. I fink you ate too many pickles. You're turning green. I fink you have pickle-itis." 
Happy Pickle's Day, everyone.

May 10, 2011

Yogurt stained cami. Pink flowered undies. Her daddy's black police socks. Messy pony on top of her head. Rhinestone tiara. 
My Foo is a style icon.

May 13, 2011

Okay, Friday the 13th can bite me. Glad no one was in the parking lot of her daycare this morning to see my flip out. I locked my kid in the car. 
Thankfully I'd already let her out of her carseat. "Fin, push the letter U. The letter U. Push it. THE LETTER U, PUSH IT! Stop pretending you're driving and PUSHTHELETTERURIGHTNOW!"
If looks could shatter glass I'd be driving to work with no windows right now. 

May 29, 2011

Fin is napping and just hollered in her sleep, 
"One, two, fwee, fo'!" 
 Said it with gusto, too.

June 4, 2011

Fin, hollering, "Hey, Mom! I put my raisins in my pocket!" 
"Okay, that's fine." 
Moment of realization later... "Fin, you don't have any pockets...?"
"I put 'em in my panties in case I get hungry later."

June 5, 2011

Fin's one bout of stomach flu this past fall has yet to leave her thoughts. She often feels the need to tell people that she was sick and "frew up" in her bed (7 months ago). 
Earlier I told her we'll be going grocery shopping tomorrow. 
 "But Mom! What if I cough and get sick and frow up all over the grocery store? Everybody will trip out!" 
Yes, I suppose they would, child. Momma included.

June 6, 2011

Fin woke me at 2:30am calling for me from her bed. 
"Momma, I had a bad dweam! I dweamed there was a frog that came in the door and he got in my mouf and I had to spit him out! I don't want a frog in my mouf!"
(Note to Self: Refrain from using phrases such as 'frog in your throat' when discussing seasonal allergies with a not-quite four year old.)

June 10, 2011

Bedtime conversation; I love yous have been exchanged:
Me: What does it mean when you love someone? 
Fin: It means my heart is in your heart.

June 17, 2011

I get demented pleasure from interrupting Fin when she's watching tv. I ask a million inane questions just to annoy her and get a reaction. "What show is this? Who's that? What's his name? What's she doing?" etc. 
Her go-to answer as of late: "How 'bout I just tell you tomorrow."

June 19, 2011

"Mom, what's going on wif your hair?"
Fin, the power was out from the storm and I couldn't dry or fix it. Why, what's wrong with it? 
"It looks all crazy! You need to do somfing wif it SOON."

June 20, 2011

Fin's morning observation: 
"Mom, I fink I'm pretty cute."
Do you? 
Fin, matter-of-factly, "Yep, I do."
Why do you think so? 
Fin, thinking about it for a moment, "I just am. I can't help it."

June 24, 2011

Dirty face + milk mustache = chocolate milk?

June 25, 2011

Fin just woke up and came to snuggle with me in the big bed. 
Me: Did you sleep well and have sweet dreams last night? 
"Yep, I did!"
What did you dream about? 
"Coffee cake."

July 3, 2011

Just woke up from a nap and I whispered to Fin (daddy is still sleeping),  "Come on, we've got to get ready to go to the store." 
 Fin, stage-whispering back:
"But Mom, everyone will see us in our underwear!" 
Call me crazy, kid, but I kinda thought we might get dressed before we left the house.

July 9, 2011

Fin helped me make 'basagna' for dinner. 
It's like a cross between 'bansai!' and 'lasagna'... Mr. Miyagi meets Mario Batali.

July 11, 2011

Just caught my child sitting in a metal basket, scooting across my hardwood floors. 
"I'm paddling in a boat, Mom." 
And this is why my floors will not be refinished until she is 12.

July 22, 2011

"Mom, I'm full of tired. Wet's go to sweep now."

July 23, 2011

Fun Way to Wake Up #539: 
Suction cups on the toy caddy in the shower just suddenly deciding to stop doing their job. 
*heartattack* *thisclosetopeeingthebed*

July 25, 2011

First trip to the dentist.  Eep.

July 24, 2011

Fin just informed me, 
 "Mom, today I won't eat any boogers."
Oh Dear Lord above, has this been an issue?!!

July 25, 2011

In the car today I actually heard myself yell at my kid, 
"Are you okay?! There is no choking allowed while Momma is driving!!" 
Wow, I'm awesome at this parenting thing.

July 31, 2011

Daddy let Fin talk him into an impromptu Toys R Us trip this evening (sucka). 
 They came home with a cute stuffed lion so we were discussing names for him.
I suggested Leo. She suggested Captain Booty.

August 5, 2011

At work having a perfectly lovely Friday and looking forward to the weekend when it suddenly hits me that I'm not feeling so great. 
At almost the same moment I had this realization I get a text from Fin's daycare telling me she's running a fever. 
It's like we're E.T. and Elliot.

August 7, 2011

Fin's first question of the morning: 
"Hey, Mom! Wanna smell my armpit?"

August 8, 2011

Fin is having a lovely and dramatic meltdown. 
She just wailed, 
I suppose I really shouldn't have laughed.

August 13, 2011

Doing a little shopping with my Foo. She's clutching a toy purse she picked out for herself when she suddenly says, 
"Mom, I fink I wanna put my purse back and buy a dog toy for Howard instead. It will make him so happy!
Damn, I've got a sweet kid.

August 24, 2011

Fin keeps asking for a 'piggy bank ride'. 
Now, I ain't sayin' she a gold digger...

August 28, 2011

Reason #7 to not eat from your child's plate: 
"Why is the cheese puff I just ate soggy??!" 
Fin, hands out with an exasperated sigh, 
"Mom, sometimes people just wick fings. Dat's all."

August 29, 2011

"Guess what time it is! It's SMELL MY STINKY OL' FEET TIME!!"

September 4, 2011

Listening to Fin chant, 
"How whoa can you go? How whoa can you go?"
Eeeeverybody Limbo!

September 7, 2011

My child just burst into the room and demanded, 
"Who are you and how did you find me?!
Sometimes I wonder.

September 10, 2011

Note to self: Teach child that chirping "Excuse me!", no matter how sweetly, does not negate burping directly in your mother's face.

September 21, 2011

Visit to doctor did not amuse her.  Grouchy girl is grouchy. 

September 30, 2011

Four years old. 

September 23, 2011

"Mom, I feel disappointment when you make me lose my concentrate."

September 29, 20011

A Birthday Letter To My Daughter:

As I lay in your bed tonight watching you drift off to sleep, I could not believe I was saying goodnight for the last time to my only three year old child.  In the morning you will be a whole year older.  Four has come so fast - I feel like I took my eyes off of you for only a second and an entire year went by.  I vow to do everything I can to slow this year down, to take in every single second of your four year old self.

You made so many changes this year.  In looks alone you have lost that obvious baby roundness; you are longer and leaner which makes you look older than I'd like.  But from certain angles, in sleepy expressions, when you are hurt or sick, when you are giggling without control I still see my baby in your face and I cherish those moments with everything I have. 

Oh dear girl, you are whip smart.  I love watching your face as your mind works something over and the light in your eyes when you know exactly what it is you want to say.  But those times when your voiced opinion takes me by such surprise delights me just as much.  You make me laugh like no other person on this earth; I can hardly wait to hear what you'll say next.  And there is nothing more hysterical than watching you crack yourself up.

It is amazing to watch you become your own person. You've been doing that little by little all along, of course, but it shows more and more every day.    You are full of joy and unfathomable amounts of love and kindness, brilliant hope and expectation... and you bring all of those things out in me.  You are - hands down - the coolest person I know.  You are YOU and you are unbelievable.

Happy fourth birthday, Finley Kate.  I love you impossible.

October 8, 2011

Fin and I decided to make Rice Krispies Treats for our semi-regular Slumber Party In The Big Bed Movie Night Extravaganza.

 Such a good helper.

Stir, stir and stir some more.

Hey, Mom!  Do we need dis* for the Wice Kwispies?

Very funny, child.

So proud!

*Momma totally hit that wine a little later.

October 11, 2011

Fin asked for strawberries and I had to tell her we are out. 
"Mom, why did you not get some at the store?? *sigh* I'm getting tired of this." 
Guess I'm slacking.

October 13, 2011

Finley is being punished for being sassy.
"Mom, see this face??" 
[motions to tear-stained face with index finger in a circular gesture] 
"This face is SAD, can you see that?!"

October 20, 2011

Told Foo I have a headache but will be all better by the am. 

"But Mom! You have to be better for my next birfday party!" 

Um... in 11 months.

October 16, 2011

Told Fin I'm not feeling well and she said she'd take care of me. I told her how sweet that is and that she has a very kind heart. 
She smiled and said, 
"Aw, Momma! That makes my heart break in the sweet love kinda way. I fink I'll marry you. AND eat some carrots for you." 
I couldn't ask for more.

October 17, 2011

Fin [whispering], "Mom, naps make me sick."

October 23, 2011

Child woke up at 6:30am saying she didn't sleep well. Almost got her back to sleep in my bed when the dog threw up. 
ON her. 
Good morning.

October 26, 2011

"Mom, stop singing!" 
Hey, I can sing! 
"Not around me!
You're supposed to love it when Momma sings to you. 
"In a minute I'll love it. Right now I'm sick and tired."

October 30, 2011

Fin, holding out her hands, 
"Mom, I have somefing for you. It's my heart. I'm giving you my heart so you can put it in your heart forever and ever. But if I want it back, give it back to me, okay?"

October 31, 2011

October 31, 2011

Drove a little too far to the right on the curve and my tires hit the grooved part of the road. 
Fin gasped and yelled, "Mom! The car just tooted!"

November 5, 2011

Lounging on the couch watching 'How to Make An American Quilt'. Fin walks through just as one of the women calls her cheating husband a bastard.
She cracks up laughing and says, 
"Mom, why did she call him MUSTARD?!

November 8, 2011

"Hey, Mom! Smell my stinky ol' toes. They've been in my socks all day."

November 15, 2011

I may or may not have just hollered, 

"It's bedtime! It's not supposed to be fun!" 


November 14, 2011

Fin's drinking her very first 'rootbeard' from Mike's Drive-In
I'm hoping she calls it 'rootbeard' for the rest of her life.

November 17, 2011

Fin likes to call for Family Hugs which is, of course, very sweet. Last night as she was showering she said, 
"Hey, Mom! We should have a Family Shower! Me, you, Daddy & Howard [our dog]!"
Um... no. That's a very sweet (?!) idea, Honey, but just... no.

November 18, 2011

Quite sad. Fin just informed me that it's bowling alley, not bowling WOWIE. 
Growing up can suck it.

November 19, 2011

Fin just woke me up to inform me she wants an 'instwament' for Christmas. 
A sextaphone.
Please, PLEASE don't let her ask Santa for that.

November 20, 2011

What Fin fell asleep listening to:

Novemer 21, 2011

What Fin fell asleep listening to:

November 22, 2011

What Fin fell asleep listening to:

November 23, 2011

Fin, did you have a good day today? 
"Yeah, it was awesome! I was a good listener and I wiped my butt good!" 
And I? I am thankful for the little things.

November 25, 2011

What Fin fell asleep listening to:

November 27, 2011

Fin, where did your Daddy go?

"He went to get something out of his squat car."

November 27, 2011

What Fin fell asleep listening to:  

November 28, 2011

What Fin fell asleep to: 

November 29, 2011

What Fin fell asleep to:

November 29, 2011

Me: You're awfully bossy, Flossy. 
"I'm not bossy, I'm just telling you what to do."

December 2, 2011

Fin, come here please. 
"I don't want to come here."
Excuse me?! 
"May I please not come here?"

December 3, 2011

"Mom, Santa and my daddy are handsome boys, dontcha fink so?"

December 4, 2011

Told my child if she'd rather play with the dog's toys then we could give all of her toys to a little girl who would appreciate them and tell Santa she doesn't want toys this year. She then informed us if we give her toys away she wouldn't live with us anymore. 
"Where will you live, Finley?" 
"I'll live with my BOYFRIEND! And I'm taking my dog and his chew toys with me!
File this under Arguments I Didn't Expect To Have At Age 4.