Saturday, December 29, 2012

Just got up out of bed to peek outside at the falling snow one last time. My occasional sleep-talking child suddenly hollered, "Come back to bed, coconut!" What?!

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Bedtime Snuggles

"Momma, I don't ever want to be apart from you. You are all my love in my heart."

And people wonder why I'm perfectly content to stay home all the time?

Monday, October 15, 2012

"You'd better be sure and wipe that butt extremely well! Santa is watching you!"

As if the overall concept if Santa watching all the children and sneaking into homes in the middle of the night isn't borderline creepy enough... I believe I just singlehandedly took Santa to an entirely new low.

Parenting fail. *sigh*

Friday, October 5, 2012

Life Lesson: Don't blow into a bowl of dry ingredients when helping momma in the kitchen.
Fin's dad learned a valuable lesson while they were playing last night: She gets really ticked when he uses his Jimmy Stewart voice to make her dolls talk.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

"Mom, I just love to hear you laugh. It makes me laugh, too."

And then my heart exploded.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

My child's Ident-A-Kid picture looks like an Amy Winehouse mugshot.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Anatomy 101

Fin: Mom, do boobs have bones like our arms and knees?

Me: No.

Fin: Oh. Cute.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

"Mom, folding laundry is OUR job, me and Daddy's. You're not allowed to fold."

Is she waiting for me to argue with her?

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Fin had fish sticks and "shoosh puppies" for lunch today.

Monday, August 6, 2012

10 Random Finisms

Fin's default reaction to being infuriated is to blow raspberries.

The first movie to make her really cry: Charlotte's Web. She sobbed when she figured out Charlotte was dying and her babies would be left without her. (I didn't mention that my slight arachnophobia would have solved that drama with one foot stomp.)

She quite often remarks that a random African American male 'looks like Daddy'. Her dad is Asian.

Broccoli makes her vomit. Literally.

Speaking of vegetables, she has a baby doll named Spinach.

Her exclamation choice of late: "Oh, good grief!"

She refers to the white mark a superficial scratch leaves on skin as 'white pain'.

All bath time washcloths are referred to as Ponyo.

A scolding sometimes results in her hanging her head and sighing dramatically, "I guess I'm not a good kid in this town after all."

She is a rock thief. She steals smooth river stones from restaurant landscaping, other people's houses, etc. (Don't tell her father.) She brings them home and washes them in the bathroom sink like a raccoon. She calls this her Collection of Nature.

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Fin was asking me about growing older.  She seemed quite upset at the thought of me getting - looking, rather - old.  I don't exactly relish the thought, myself. 

I explained to her that we all grow older over a long period of time and that she would be all grown up herself by the time I am "old". 

"But then you would be my granny!!"

"Um, no. I will always be your mother.  But if you have children I will be their grandmother."

"Then you will be their granny!"

"Well, yes.  Except I don't exactly like the idea of being called 'granny'."

She thought this was hilarious.  Discussion followed about what her kids might call me as their grandmother. Many suggestions were thrown around, including Bambi, Crabby (shut up), and Sea Urchin.

Then her eyes lit up.  "How 'bout they call you Rock Star??"

I think I can live with that.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

"This was NOT the best day ever."

Today Fin was scheduled to pre-register at the hospital for her tonsillectomy/adenoid removal. Blood work was involved. *dundunDUUUUN*

I had gone back and forth in my mind whether to tell her about the blood work the morning of or immediately before it happened. Ultimately I felt it was better to talk about it with her first and give her an opportunity to ask questions rather than have them spring it on her suddenly. Needle! Blood! TRAUMA!

We arrived at the hospital and went through the registration process. Fin busied herself with learning apps and YouTube on my phone. Then we headed back to the lobby to wait our turn to meet with the anesthesia nurse for questions and more paperwork. Fin made a friend in the waiting room to play with; all was well.

When they called her name she was Miss Congenial till about halfway down the hall. That's when her nerves started to get the better of her. The meeting in the nurse's office was filled with Fin interrupting, not listening, touching things she shouldn't. Then began The Asking To Go Home.

By the time we got down to the lab she was ready for us to make a run for it. She started asking questions which got progressively louder.

The first phlebotomist (yes, I said 'first' - that's called foreshadowing) was a young male who may very well be good at his job but had absolutely no idea what to do with a hysterical almost-five year old. I did my best to hold this sweaty, writhing child who was screaming to go home and begging him to stop. I watched him root around in her tiny arm trying to find a vein as her screams became louder and more guttural.

When he was finally done I soothed her as best I could; she was as exhausted as if she'd just had a seizure.

That's when he told me he thought the blood had clotted, would be unusable and we would have to do it again.

And that's when I got pissed.

"Excuse me?! Did I hear you correctly?!"

"Weeell, because she was struggling so much it caused the blood to clot. I could try to spin it to make sure but I'm already pretty sure..."

I asked how long it would take to check, hoping against hope, and he told me about five minutes. I told him as nicely as I could to spin the damn blood. I wasn't about to put my kid through this again if there was even the slightest chance he was wrong.

He left the room and Fin began demanding to know why we weren't leaving. She had yet to stop crying and was desperate to get out of there. When the second nurse came in I had to break it to her: She had to do it again.

Cue previous hysteria and struggling... x1,000. Deafening, throaty screams of "NEVER!! NEEEVERRR!!" in response to my calm voice. Arms clamped to her chest like they were welded there.

I explained over and over that she HAD to hold still so we wouldn't have to do this yet again.

Fin had upset herself to the point of gagging. I asked if they had something for her to throw up in, just in case. The nurse looked at me blankly and said, " hrmm... I'm not sure..."

I could hear gurgling in Fin's throat and I'm not really sure how I kept my cool as well as I did when I snapped, "I suggest you find something NOW."

The nurse brought me a styrofoam coffee cup for my daughter to vomit in. They should consider themselves very lucky it turned out to be unnecessary.

The petite female nurse had brought a bouncer with her. The hulking man attempted to keep Fin's arm steady while I bear-hugged her on my lap.

My poor girl finally screamed in her raw, hoarse voice, "FINE! THEN JUST DO IT IF YOU MUST!!!"

Even though my heart was breaking for my daughter, even though holding her was taking all that I had, I had to laugh. The bodyguard and I looked at each other and cracked up, albeit briefly.

Fin demanded to know if there was a needle in her. The fine needle the female nurse chose to use, saying it was the size used on infants, had been much easier on her and in her hysteria she didn't even realize it was in.

I couldn't stop myself from asking why the hell they hadn't used that type of needle in the first place. I didn't get a response.

The nurse handed the first drawn vial of blood to a still sobbing Fin and tried to explain to her why it wasn't usable, saying, "... so now we won't have to do it again."

Not the time, lady. Not. The. Time.

The only words that penetrated Fin's fog were DO IT AGAIN.


Took me another 10 minutes to explain that we were truly done and could leave. I promised we'd go do something fun and suggested ice cream.

She turned it down.

By the time we got back to town and through her pediatrician appointment she had perked up a bit. I took her to the local nail place and had her toes painted up special, which made her smile.

Tonight in bed we talked and talked about what will happen Friday for her surgery. I pray this is as simple and easy on her as it should be. I pray it has the intended results when all is said and done. I pray for those parents who are/have watched their child go through so, so much worse. Because watching your child in pain? Seeing the fear in their eyes that you can't take away no matter how hard you try? It is a heartache a parent hopes to never endure.

I hope my daughter's dreams are kind to her tonight. I hope I did my job as her momma well enough to ease her little mind.

I wish someone could ease mine.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

In which she's the adult and I am the child.

"Mom, do ya fink we might be able to turn this down? I fink you listen to your music a lil' bit too loud."

I plan to show her this post in 15 years.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Fin wanted to buy her Pa a fish for his birthday. She's been planning this for months.

We had other errands to run the day we went to pick it out and of course she was impatient to get to the pet store. I explained that we had to make that stop our last one since we could not leave the fish in a hot car while we took care of other business.

"Why not?"

"Well, honey, the heat is not good for a fish. We don't want to boil him."

"Would he die?"

"Um, yes. He would."

"Mom, there are PUH-LENTY of fish in the sea."

She actually said that. Not. Even. Kidding.

*Meet Flounder. Rock will be so pleased.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Fin gets attached to a song and insists on listening to it over and over. On the drive to the St. Louis Zoo, for example, 'Ain't No Mountain High Enough' was on a loop the entire trip.

But more recently she's been stuck on the Gotye song, 'Somebody That I Used To Know'. On a drive to Carbondale I watched her in the rear view mirror as she grooved to it, nodding her head with her eyes shut.

When the song ended she looked at me with a sorrowful expression on her face.

"Mom, I like that song because it reminds me of my boyfriend at daycare, Nate. But Nate doesn't go there anymore and I'll never see him again and it breaks my heart! He's somebody that I used to know!"

It was a struggle to keep the vehicle on the road.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Fin and I spent the night in St. Louis last night for a trip to the zoo today.

Last night we were speculating about what our zoo experience will be like and I said, "We're going to have a ball!"

Fin's eyes lit up and she excitedly said, "We're getting a ball at the zoo?!" Twenty questions about said 'special zoo ball' immediately followed.


I explained to her that 'have a ball' is just something people say to mean 'we're going to have so much fun'.
She looked at me oddly and moved on to talk about penguins.

This morning as we were getting ready she hollered, "Mom, I cant wait to get to the zoo! We are going to have so much ball today!"

Um... wha?

"That means we're gonna have lots and lots of fun!! SO! MUCH! BALL!!!"

I tried to fix this, I did. But if you run into my child and ask her about her about her trip to St. Louis, please try not to take offense to her telling you how much ball we had while there.


Saturday, April 28, 2012

Now begins the rhetorical question part of the program. Apparently.

"Mom, do I look like I'm 15 years old? No. Do I always know what you're talking about? No."

"Do I look like I can eat all dis food?"

It's like I'm living with a tiny female version of Chandler Bing.

"Do I look like I need a baf to you? I don't fink so!"

[Yes, actually, she was in desperate need of a 'baf'.]

"Does anybody fink I could get a little peace around here?! UGH!"

If Momma gets no peace, ain't nobody getting any peace. Learn it, kid.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

"Mom, don't forget my sunscream!"


"Sunscream. Don't forget cause I need it when I go outside to play."

Sunscream. Gotcha.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

"Fin, hurry up and get dressed. We're running a little late this morning."

"Don't worry, Momma, I'll be dressed in a chicken."

"You'll be whaaat?"

"I'll be ready in a chicken."

"Ready in a chicken?! What does that mean?"

"It means I'll be dressed really fast. Because chickens are super fast!"

*Translation: Pretty sure she means 'jiffy'.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

I saw my mom at the grocery store the other morning.

That would be a totally normal statement if my mother had not died almost three months ago.

The woman so closely resembled her that I stopped cold. Her clothing, her height and the shape of her body. Her hair color and style. It was my mom when she was healthy. When she was still my mom.

Apparently I unconsciously walked after her in the parking lot. I knew it wasn't her. I know it wasn't her, I do. But I had to see her face. And even the partial profile I managed to glimpse looked enough like my mom to seize my heart.

She never saw me, didn't even glance in my direction. I stood motionless in the middle of an early morning parking lot for what felt like an eternity as I watched a stranger walk away from me, oblivious to my struggle.

I hadn't been thinking about my mother or dwelling on her death that morning. It was business as usual. I was on my way to work, getting my Starbucks from inside the Marion Kroger. My phone was in hand preparing to call a friend. I hadn't been building up to an emotional upheaval.

Blindsided is the only word for the experience. It felt like an actual physical impact. And I'm not sure if I can survive a lifetime of these unexpected moments.

When does the pain ease into fond memories? Will I ever be able to reminisce without experiencing every negative emotion a human can feel?

For a millisecond I truly thought that woman was my mom. The hopeful lurch my heart gave was utterly terrifying. In a blink I knew it wasn't her and I felt as empty as I did the day we buried her. Empty with a dull, sick ache at my core.

Dear God, I could never have imagined just how hard this would be.

Clearly this post isn't about my daughter. But maybe someday when she's older she will want to read about how I processed this. Or maybe it's just therapy for me.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

"Mom, all you want me to do is learn, learn, learn! I don't wanna grow up! I need some peace!"

So much for the fun iPad learning app I just downloaded for her. I'm such a slave driver.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

I was watching last night's American Idol when Fin walked in during Phil Phillips' performance.

She stood in front of the tv and silently watched him sing the song through to the end. When he finished she turned to me and matter-of- factly stated,

"Mom, I fink I'm gonna marry that boy when I grow up."

Then she turned on her heel and left the room.

That's mah girl.

Friday, March 16, 2012

"Mom, do I see strawberries??"

"Yep, I bought them just for you."

"Aw, Mom. You're simply adorable."

"Adorable? Really?"

"Yes, completely!"

...oh my.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

"Mom, if a bear wif big sharp teef bites you, you would get bleeds."

"Bleeds? What are bleeds?"

"Bleeds are red stuff inside of your body, kind of like red wava that comes out of a volcano."

"Why is it there?"

"It protects your bwain and your heart. It just fwoats around all inside you. Bleeds are different than boo boos. You need a bag wif ice to make bleeds better and not just a bandage. Boo boos are little and tiny and sometimes they're round. Bleeds are a big deal."

"How do you know all of this?"

"I know everyfing about bleeds. I'm a doctor."

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Fin woke up coughing this morning so I asked to look in her throat.

"Mom, do I have swollen music notes*?"

*Translation: Swollen lymph nodes.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Finley came to me in tears. "Mom, I miss Mammaw. I don't want her to be an angel. I want her to be a normal person so I can see her. I didn't get to hug or kiss her goodbye."

I will have this talk with her many, many times in the coming years and the thought is heartbreaking. But a worse realization is that there will come a day when she won't ask about her. My daughter was four years, three months and three days old when she lost her grandmother. She won't remember that they cooked together, went on walks outside, had tea parties, danced and laughed together. How very much my mother loved her.

And that is what wrenches my heart the most.

Keeping someone's memory alive for the duration of a child's life is a daunting and exhausting task. It is a job that some days I fear I am not capable of. Some days I feel like I will surely fail.

But I will try. Because my sweet daughter deserves a grandma, even if it is only the thought of her.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Fin put her hands on my face and kissed me.

"Mom, what's that thing on your face?"

Me, dismissively, "Nothing, Fin. Probably just a little bump."

"No, Mom. That thing. That pokey thing."

"Ugh, Fin! It's nothing! Just a bump or a little pimple or something."


"Okay, Finley. It's a little hair. It's no big deal, now please hush."

Fin is incredulous. "You mean a whisker like Daddy has?!"

And that's what's known as getting your ass kicked by a four year old's honesty and microscopic attention to detail. 

*Anyone seen my tweezers?

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Lately my daughter insists we refer to each other as Penelope. Her father is addressed as Steve, which bugs him to no end.  (I think he may be wondering what our mailman's name is.)  And the dog fluctuates between Pluto or Frank.

Typical scene in our house:

[knock knock]

"No one's home!" I call.


[renewed vigorous knocking]

*sigh*  "Come in."

"Heeeelloooooooooo, Penelope!"

"Well, hello yourself, Penelope.  How are you?"

 "I'm fabulous, Penelope!  I came to show you my new guinea pig [stuffed].  His name is Ben."

I immediately flash on THIS movie.  

"I'm sorry, Penelope.  I don't allow rodents in my house.  Please remove it or I will have to ask you to leave."

Fin Penelope is flustered.

"But... but...  he's really nice and fluffy!  He won't bite you, I promise.  See, look!"  [pretends stuffed guinea pig is licking me]

I shriek theatrically.  Our dog Howard Frank begins barking and comes running because he is concerned he is missing out on something unbelievably exciting.  He sees the stuffed toy and tries to snatch it from Fin Penelope.

"HOWARD-- I MEAN, FRANK!  NO!  PWOTZ, FRANK!"  [she means plotz]

(Yes, my daughter commands my chihuahua in German.  What.)

Fin's Penelope's daddy walks into the room to see what all the commotion is about.

"Hi, Steve!  Wanna see my guinea pig?  His name's Ben."

Daddy Steve misses this entire greeting as he is intent on forcing the dog to be absolutely quiet and nonmoving via the sheer force of his angry face, having been unsuccessful in his attempt to catch him.


"Wha?  Steve?  Steve who?  Howard, knock it off!" 

Daddy Steve has forgotten who he is, which pisses Fin  Penelope off.

"Daddeeeeeee!  I mean, Steve!  YOU'RE Steve!  And that's not Howard, that's Pluto!  I mean Frank!  Penelope, tell him!"

I'm distracted because I am too busy Googling if copious amounts of wine is an effective treatment for schizophrenia.  For me. 

When I get home from work in the evening I always tell Fin about the different dogs I groomed that day.

"Fin, a man came in with two teeny tiny chihuahuas to have their nails trimmed. And one of the dogs had a completely bald head. Isn't that funny?"

"I bet it looked just like Daddy's head!"

Heh heh.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Every kid runs through the house with their arms out to the side making airplane noises.

My kid sees her reflection in the full length mirror and stops to tell herself, 

"Have a nice flight!"

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

I was feeling quite nostalgic tonight as I began reading Alice In Wonderland to Finley for the first time. The book itself was given to me by my own mother when I was very small and some of my earliest memories were of her reading it to me at bedtime. I have been waiting years to share it with my daughter and I was brimming with sentimentality and expectation.

Since my old hardback copy of the classic has few pictures, I was doing my best to incorporate drama into my reading. I continually watched Fin's face from the corner of my eye for signs of captivation.

At a particularly thrilling moment I interjected with a gasp! and turned to look at her with exaggerated anticipation. To my delight, the look on her face was one of shock!


I couldn't wait to hear what she had to say about Alice and the bottle marked 'Drink Me.'

"Yes, Fin?? What do you think is going to happen next??"

"Um... Mom. You just spit on my arm when you were reading. It was pretty gross."

Aaaaand... scene.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Many times when Fin blurts out something totally off the wall, I can usually figure out where she came up with it by asking, "Who says that?!"  Lots of times it's either from a tv show or movie.  Sometimes she's picked it up from another kid.  And sometimes...  well, sometimes it's just her

Rewind to her shower the other night.  The water was a bit too cold and as it warmed up she threw her head back and said, 

"Oooooh yeeeeah."

A frown may have crossed my face, but I didn't think much about it until she said it again.  Multiple times in a row.  With increasing intensity.  

"Ooooh yeeeah.  Oooooh yeeeeeeeeeeah!  OOOOOH YEEEEEEEEEEEAH!!!"

"FINLEY KATE!  Why are you saying that?!"

"Cause the warm water feels good."  Tone = duh.

"Well, it's kind of rude... and... er... inappropriate."

"Why?"  [Insert wide-eyed innocent look here.]

"...  Well...  I don't...  because.  Because it is.  Because I said so.  Just... don't.  Who says that?  Did you hear it on tv?" This is me, stammering like an idiot and thinking to myself, 'Dear God, what has she been watching?!'

"No, Momma.  No one says it.  Just me.La dee da.  No big deal.

Now at this point I feel the need to state that I monitor closely what my kid watches on tv.  Multiple children's shows deemed appropriate by others - no judgement! - have been banned at our house (I'm talking to you, Spongebob). 

And, no offense to the mister, but she definitely has not overheard it elsewhere in our house.  *ahem*

So far I have yet to break her of this particular expletive.  Apparently warm air from the blow dryer warrants an "Oooh YEEEAH!"  As does fresh pj's, snuggling down in her bed under the covers and kicking off her shoes after a long day.

Oh the joys of having a dramatic child?

Yeah, I'm going with that.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Who, indeed?

I'm guessing Fin's daycare has dance or music time at some point during the day.  Awesome way to burn off some of that 4 year old energy.  She randomly bursts into songs she's learned at daycare all the time.  Sometimes she teaches me one I've never heard.  Sometimes they're old classics I grew up on.  

The other day I overheard her singing to herself in the other room:

"Who let the dogs out?!  HOOEY!  HHHHOOEY HHHHOOEY!"

Hooey?  Wha? 

"Fin, what's that song you're singing?  Come in here and sing it for me."

Crazy hopping and dancing commences.

"Who let the dogs out?!  HOOEY!  HHHHOOEY HHHHOOEY!"

Hooey.  Huh.  Not quiet how I remember it.

We all recall how annoyingly catchy this song was when it first came out.  It is once again playing on a loop in my brain except now I can't stop singing 'Hooey!  Hhhhooey hhhhooey!"

Aaaaaand, now it's stuck in yours.  You're welcome.  HOOEY!

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Eh, not so much.

"Hey, Mom!  You wanna come to the baf'room with me because you love me so much?"

Saturday, February 4, 2012

"Mom, what if my eyes start to bleed and then the doctor has to take them out of my head and I can't see anymore? That was my worst dream ever."


Friday, February 3, 2012

I have occasionally been known to burst loudly into song in the privacy of my own home.  This may or may not annoy the crap out of my kid.  

Okay, it does.

This morning as we were getting ready I was on an Elvis kick.

"We can't go on together! With suspicious miii-hi-hiinds... [insert irritating falsetto here] Suspicious minds!"
Fin puts her hand on her hip and demands,  
 "Mom, why on Earf would we go somewhere wif suspicious mice??"

Not quite what The King intended.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

As I was getting Fin out of the bathtub tonight I noticed a small bump on her little butt cheek. I dabbed a bit of medicine on it and she yelped.

"Mom, what are you doing?!"

"I'm putting a little medicine on this bump. It's just a little pimple, no big deal. The medicine will make it go away soon."

"Mom, no!!  Don't touch it!! That is my special plimple! It gives me super powers!"

Okay, I fully realize that I am first time mom who is still learning the ropes of parenting.  I understand my child is only four years old and I have many experiences ahead of me that will render me speechless.  But seriously, I had no words.  I don't believe there is an educated parental response to this. 

My child claims the 'plimple' on her ass gives her super powers.  I'd say she totally wins this round.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Last Night...

I snuck down the hallway to check on Fin one last time before turning in myself.

I found her sleeping soundly in the soft glow of her Twilight Turtle stars. The only sound was her quiet, even breathing and the low hum of the fan in her room.

I smoothed her hair back off of her sweet face, straightened her covers, whispered "I love you" and started to tiptoe out of her room.

That's when she hollered, "I LOVE YOU, TOO!" in a booming voice and I almost peed my pants.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

"You shouldn't wrestle with your poop. You hafta just... reeeelaaaax ...and let it go."

Wise beyond her years.

Friday, January 27, 2012

"Hey, Mom! Wouldn't it be fabulous to see a real live unicorn jumping over a rainbow the same way a real live cow jumps over the moon?"

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Fin was watching me open a new box of OTC sinus medication.  I popped the two giant gel-caps out of the blister-pack into my palm and her eyes grew big as plates.

"Mom!  Do you hafta stick those up your bum?!"

Guess whose kid was recently traumatized by her first anti-nausea suppository experience?

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

"Mom, you make me happy all the time. And your tattoos? Are wonderful."

Friday, January 20, 2012

"Mom, is the craziness over yet?"

I certainly hope so, my sweet girl.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

I am taking an important phone call when I have to ask Fin to "please stop bouncing those balls" (our house is very echoey and sound resonates loudly on these old wood floors).

"FINE. Then we'll just go in the other room! C'mon, Twoballs!"

A sign that life does, indeed, go on? Having to stifle laughter at your child while you're on the phone with the funeral home.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Tonight Fin fell asleep listening to Regina Spektor, Us.

January 12, 2012

"Daddy, are you being pissy?"

*Daddy gave Momma the stink eye for this one.  Oops.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

"Mom, when girls say something nice to boys, boys say 'Aw, shucks.'"
"Excuse me, please. I have a date with a monkey."

Friday, January 13, 2012

"Mom, I want to be 10:30."

"Well, if it was 10:30 you would be in bed asleep."

"NO, MOM.  I want to be 10:30!"

 "... years old?"

"Yes.  *sigh*"

"Honey, 10:30 is a time, not an age.  It can be 10:30 at night or 10:30 in the morning.  You can be 10 years old.  But you can't be 10:30 years old."

"YES, I CAN!  I can so be 10:30 years old, Mom.  And I want to be 10:30 years old right now!"

"Okay, I give up.  *POOF*  You're 10:30."

"YESSSSSS!  I've always wanted to be 10:30!"

Thursday, January 12, 2012

At the grocery store and Fin has talked me into buying her a small bottle of chocolate milk.

"Mom, there's a moose on this bottle! A chocolate moose!"

"Um... Are you sure that's not a picture of... oh, I don't know... a cow, perhaps?"

"No, Mom. *sigh* I'm sure it's a moose. A milk moose. A chocolate milk moose."


Monday, January 2, 2012

Coming downstairs this morning Fin pauses on the stairs and looks down over the living room.

"Huh.  Christmas tree's still gone."
Astute, she is.

January 1, 2012

"Mom, scrumptious means yummy. That's how they say it in Spanish."

January 29, 2011

Child tromping all over me in the bed. 
Honey, please be gentle! Momma's sick. 
Fin, stroking my cheek, "Okay, my poor Momma. I'll just pet you... like a dog."

February 3, 2011

Child has been in bed since 7:30; I naively assumed she was asleep. Then I hear a strange sound coming from her room... 
Um, did you just WHISTLE at me?? 
"Well, yeah. My stars [Twilight Turtle on a timer] went out and I whistled so you could come turn them back on for me." 
And that's when I stepped out into the hallway to bang my head against the wall.

February 8, 2011

Woke at 1:30am to hear Fin coughing down the hall in her bed. Took the large cup of ice water I keep on my nightstand to give her a drink and promptly spilled it all over her bed. 
Ice, in her bed. Ice water soaking the back of her pajamas, sheets & mattress. Shocked child. Shocked & hysterically laughing and apologetic momma. 
Who throws ice water on their 3 year old in the middle of the night?? 
MOTY 2011

February 9, 2011

Peace, Home Skillet.

Sweet Child O Mine

February 14, 2011

Having a discussion about being each others' Valentine, I said to Fin, "My heart is full of love for you." 
She very sweetly replied, "My heart is full of chocolate for you!"

February 17, 2011

Driving home we were stopped behind traffic on Main Street.  Fin hollered, 
"Uuugh! Come ON, cars! We gotta be somewhere!" 
(No clue where she gets this.) 
As the traffic pulled away Fin yelled, 
"Mom! IT WORKED! It really, really worked!" 
I see much toddler road rage in our future.

February 24, 2011

Finley finally finished her bedtime prayers, in which she asked God to bless everyone she's ever met - each one by name. 
Thought she was finally asleep till she suddenly rolled back over, put her palms together and added, 
"And please let Mommy take me someplace good and exciting very soon. Amen!" 
Kid doesn't get out much, apparently.

March 1, 2011

Cannot for the life of me find a way to make Fin understand that running errands does not mean we're going to visit Aaron.

March 5, 2011

We were riding in the car and I said to Fin, "Wow, you're having a pretty fun day! Got to watch movies at home this morning, Dr. Seuss crafts at art class this afternoon and now on your way to your grandparent's to play." 
She threw both arms in the air and yelled, "It's Finley Kate Willmore Day!"

March 5, 2011

Fin just got out of bed to pee only to sit there forever without going. 
"I'm a robot. Robots don't pee." 
Complete with robot hand motions.

March 21, 2011

Laying in Foo's bed, pressing a cool washcloth to her hot little face, neck and back. 
Temp up to 103.8 tonight. 
C'mon, Children's Advil. Do your job.

March 25, 2011

Our girl was diagnosed with mild pneumonia in her left lung.

Fever, fever, go away.

March 27, 2011

I'm officially declaring this weekend a bust. Fin is feeling better, but it is taking her awhile to get over this pneumonia. She is still coughing and sicker than I'd like after 4 days of antibiotics. She is off her normal sleep schedule like whoa, and we are both stir-crazy to the extreme. 
And my child, who insists she is a puppy today, just drank out of the dog's bowl. 

April 5, 2011

Fin to her dad, looking at his recently shaved head: 
"Daddy, where did all your little hairs go?"

April 11, 2011

Pitiful girl on a rainy day.


April 19, 2011

Wailing, indignant, 

"But I'm too busy to take a nap!"

Sunday, January 1, 2012

April 23, 2011

Fin to me, playing doctor: 
"Oh dear, Patient! Your temperature is 4-6-2-7. You're going to have to stay in bed for a few years. Oh, and I need all your blood, please."

April 23, 2011

Just when I'm wondering where I put the duct tape she curls her small self into my side, nestles her sweet head into my shoulder, puts her little hand on my cheek and closes her eyes. 
And for a moment all is blissful and serene and quiet... 
...and then she toots. 
Gotta love family nap time.

April 25, 2011

Cuddling Foo to sleep since she's a little scared of the thunder. 
Just when I think she's finally drifted off... *PLINK!* she plucks a single hair from my arm. 
This now ends the tender mommy portion of the evening.

April 28, 2011

"Daddy, if I fall off the couch, you catch me. If I fall off a pony, you catch me. If I fall of a cliff, you catch me, okay?"

May 1, 2011

My new favorite pastime: 
Finding ways to make Fin wrinkle up her nose and say, 
"Eew, Mom! That's dee-cuss-ting!"

May 5, 2011

"Mom, someday will you take me bowling at the Bowling Wowie?"

May 8, 2011

I was eating a dill pickle, which Fin loathes. 
"EEEWWW, Mommy! Happy Pickle's Day, yuck. I fink you ate too many pickles. You're turning green. I fink you have pickle-itis." 
Happy Pickle's Day, everyone.

May 10, 2011

Yogurt stained cami. Pink flowered undies. Her daddy's black police socks. Messy pony on top of her head. Rhinestone tiara. 
My Foo is a style icon.

May 13, 2011

Okay, Friday the 13th can bite me. Glad no one was in the parking lot of her daycare this morning to see my flip out. I locked my kid in the car. 
Thankfully I'd already let her out of her carseat. "Fin, push the letter U. The letter U. Push it. THE LETTER U, PUSH IT! Stop pretending you're driving and PUSHTHELETTERURIGHTNOW!"
If looks could shatter glass I'd be driving to work with no windows right now. 

May 29, 2011

Fin is napping and just hollered in her sleep, 
"One, two, fwee, fo'!" 
 Said it with gusto, too.

June 4, 2011

Fin, hollering, "Hey, Mom! I put my raisins in my pocket!" 
"Okay, that's fine." 
Moment of realization later... "Fin, you don't have any pockets...?"
"I put 'em in my panties in case I get hungry later."

June 5, 2011

Fin's one bout of stomach flu this past fall has yet to leave her thoughts. She often feels the need to tell people that she was sick and "frew up" in her bed (7 months ago). 
Earlier I told her we'll be going grocery shopping tomorrow. 
 "But Mom! What if I cough and get sick and frow up all over the grocery store? Everybody will trip out!" 
Yes, I suppose they would, child. Momma included.

June 6, 2011

Fin woke me at 2:30am calling for me from her bed. 
"Momma, I had a bad dweam! I dweamed there was a frog that came in the door and he got in my mouf and I had to spit him out! I don't want a frog in my mouf!"
(Note to Self: Refrain from using phrases such as 'frog in your throat' when discussing seasonal allergies with a not-quite four year old.)

June 10, 2011

Bedtime conversation; I love yous have been exchanged:
Me: What does it mean when you love someone? 
Fin: It means my heart is in your heart.

June 17, 2011

I get demented pleasure from interrupting Fin when she's watching tv. I ask a million inane questions just to annoy her and get a reaction. "What show is this? Who's that? What's his name? What's she doing?" etc. 
Her go-to answer as of late: "How 'bout I just tell you tomorrow."

June 19, 2011

"Mom, what's going on wif your hair?"
Fin, the power was out from the storm and I couldn't dry or fix it. Why, what's wrong with it? 
"It looks all crazy! You need to do somfing wif it SOON."

June 20, 2011

Fin's morning observation: 
"Mom, I fink I'm pretty cute."
Do you? 
Fin, matter-of-factly, "Yep, I do."
Why do you think so? 
Fin, thinking about it for a moment, "I just am. I can't help it."

June 24, 2011

Dirty face + milk mustache = chocolate milk?

June 25, 2011

Fin just woke up and came to snuggle with me in the big bed. 
Me: Did you sleep well and have sweet dreams last night? 
"Yep, I did!"
What did you dream about? 
"Coffee cake."