Fin wanted to buy her Pa a fish for his birthday. She's been planning this for months.

We had other errands to run the day we went to pick it out and of course she was impatient to get to the pet store. I explained that we had to make that stop our last one since we could not leave the fish in a hot car while we took care of other business.

"Why not?"

"Well, honey, the heat is not good for a fish. We don't want to boil him."

"Would he die?"

"Um, yes. He would."

"Mom, there are PUH-LENTY of fish in the sea."

She actually said that. Not. Even. Kidding.


*Meet Flounder. Rock will be so pleased.

Fin gets attached to a song and insists on listening to it over and over. On the drive to the St. Louis Zoo, for example, 'Ain't No Mountain High Enough' was on a loop the entire trip.

But more recently she's been stuck on the Gotye song, 'Somebody That I Used To Know'. On a drive to Carbondale I watched her in the rear view mirror as she grooved to it, nodding her head with her eyes shut.

When the song ended she looked at me with a sorrowful expression on her face.

"Mom, I like that song because it reminds me of my boyfriend at daycare, Nate. But Nate doesn't go there anymore and I'll never see him again and it breaks my heart! He's somebody that I used to know!"

It was a struggle to keep the vehicle on the road.

Fin and I spent the night in St. Louis last night for a trip to the zoo today.

Last night we were speculating about what our zoo experience will be like and I said, "We're going to have a ball!"

Fin's eyes lit up and she excitedly said, "We're getting a ball at the zoo?!" Twenty questions about said 'special zoo ball' immediately followed.

Crap.

I explained to her that 'have a ball' is just something people say to mean 'we're going to have so much fun'.
She looked at me oddly and moved on to talk about penguins.

This morning as we were getting ready she hollered, "Mom, I cant wait to get to the zoo! We are going to have so much ball today!"

Um... wha?

"That means we're gonna have lots and lots of fun!! SO! MUCH! BALL!!!"

I tried to fix this, I did. But if you run into my child and ask her about her about her trip to St. Louis, please try not to take offense to her telling you how much ball we had while there.

*sigh*

Now begins the rhetorical question part of the program. Apparently.

"Mom, do I look like I'm 15 years old? No. Do I always know what you're talking about? No."

"Do I look like I can eat all dis food?"

It's like I'm living with a tiny female version of Chandler Bing.

"Do I look like I need a baf to you? I don't fink so!"

[Yes, actually, she was in desperate need of a 'baf'.]

"Does anybody fink I could get a little peace around here?! UGH!"

If Momma gets no peace, ain't nobody getting any peace. Learn it, kid.

"Mom, don't forget my sunscream!"

"Your...?"

"Sunscream. Don't forget cause I need it when I go outside to play."


Sunscream. Gotcha.

"Fin, hurry up and get dressed. We're running a little late this morning."

"Don't worry, Momma, I'll be dressed in a chicken."

"You'll be whaaat?"

"I'll be ready in a chicken."

"Ready in a chicken?! What does that mean?"

"It means I'll be dressed really fast. Because chickens are super fast!"


*Translation: Pretty sure she means 'jiffy'.